'a diary should be an antidote to hindsight'

Writer's Block: Instant attraction

2009-11-10T00:01:33Z

Do you think romantic chemistry is instant or evolving? Have you ever given someone a second (or third) chance and lived to regret it? Have you ever fallen in love with someone you didn't particularly like or desire at first?

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I think attraction isn't necessarily instant, but chemistry has to be there or there's nothing to evolve to. I've never been given the opportunity to give someone a second chance. And as to the last, yes I have (I liked him as a person/friend straight away but wasn't physically attracted)...I've also thought it was "love at first sight" and been wrong (it was lust). I think the love is a lot deeper if they're not "your type" or basically you don't start out thinking they're gorgeous...in my experience if someone's looks come first, you can go off them a lot easier if they change their appearence. Nowadays I don't believe in love at first sight...I've thought it was love 3 times and I was wrong at least 2 of those.

Writer's Block: Opposites attract (sometimes)

2009-11-07T08:56:18Z

In general, do you find yourself more attracted to people with similar or different interests, life experiences, political beliefs, and religious backgrounds? Do you think having some common interests/goals is essential for a successful relationship?

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Good question. I would say I've been in two relationships where physical attraction came first and we had little in common, one where we were great friends first and the attraction came second. Even though it didn't work out the latter was by far the better option. I think it's fine to like different TV shows or music, to have different friendship groups and interests, but personally some things are fundamental. I'm not overly political but I would imagine opposing views would create far too much conflict, ditto religion. For me personally I think friendship is the cornerstone of a good relationship, if you can imagine being friends with them outside of the relationship, then you're more likely to stand the test of time.

I can be attracted to anyone but the ones I really fall for, it's because I sense a deep connection, some inner "sameness", believing that we think alike or process the world in a similar way, have the same dreams maybe. Sometimes I'm wrong about it, but the people I'm truly drawn to in a can't-live-without-you sort of way, that's always been why.

So I guess I'm contradicting myself a little, haha. No, I do think if you have nothing in common, it's not too likely to work out. I've been there, if your life goals are different and you don't even want to watch the same shit on TV when you're at home either...it's really not cool. The better you can talk and laugh together as friends, the better your communication will be in the relationship =)

It's on this TV

2009-11-07T07:53:02Z

Showday.

It took me about 6 changes of outfit to pick one, but I felt great in it. I did however make the executive decision to wear my boots with the 2.5-inch heels, which I've worn like twice before. I wore them to see The 69 Eyes in about 2004 and had to use my mum as a crutch to limp home. But I wanted to be taller, so fuck it. I can deal with the pain.

We got to the venue about 7pm, having been rained on. There goes my specially straightened hair.

We're walking past the Barfly and I'm wondering where to pick up my tickets when my mum says "There's Deron". I whip around and sure enough, he's talking to three really tall guys. I hover around for a bit fidgeting for my cigarettes or something, these guys were nice, they let me in the circle with them but I couldn't think of anything to say I was so caught off guard, then suddenly Deron says "Well I'm freezing so I'm heading back inside" and I'm like =(

But while I was smiling awkwardly at these 3 guys my mum grabbed Deron's arm and (she told me this part after) asked him "Can you do me a huge favour?" and he gives her this worried look so she says "Play Plastic Plan!" And he's all "We can't get away with that one" so my mum says "Oh come on it's so cheesy, I love it!" I get there at this point and say "You've gotta play Tripled Manic State" and Deron says "Oh yeah we'll probably play that one". And we blab at him a few more seconds then he goes inside and I bounce =D It took him like 5 minutes to even get inside, people kept accosting him! I'm like "omg Deron promised me they'll play Tripled Manic State!!", hahaha. So excited!!

We went in and got drinks. Jess and Matt walk right past us to get outside. We saw Deron again a little while later and I'm all just, I just want to watch him, that's enough, being able to look at him. God, he's...

Chad wandered down eventually and haha, honest to God he seemed to be waiting for people to notice him because no one did, haha. He was hanging by the merch stand like looking for fans to talk to him, haha. He's such an attention-whore. ilu Chad =)

Me and my mum went out for a smoke at one point and then Chad was like blocking the door so my mum moved him out the way and he and Jess turned to stare at us so I just went "Alright, guys?" and grinned and went inside, haha. It was funny.

Showtime showtime showtime. The upstairs was teeny. It's 200 capacity I think, and it was about half-full. No advertising for this show, so intimate <3 We stood kinda in the middle on the right and Mark Hanna and the other techs kept walking past us and we were right by this stage door and Deron was there again, fhsdafhsjkladghlaj. The whole band had to walk past us to get to the stage! I seriously stroked Deron's arm (through his sleeve, boo) like really slowly as he walked on, hahaha I am so creepy.

Here is a setlist, all the songs are right but the order may be a little off:
Human Drive-In Hi-Fi
Attached At The Hip
Escape From Hellview
Flesh Into Gear
Sink Into The Underground
My Promiscuous Daughter
Tripled Manic State (squeeee!!)
96 Quite Bitter Beings
The Boardwalk Body (!!!)
Disengage The Simulator
Rio Bravo
Shock And Terror
Inhuman Creation Station
A#1 Roller Rager (!!!)
Close Yet Far

No encore =(

Oh my gosh I have to tell you about the show! So we start off in the crowd but with a good view, they come on, I go nuts (in my 2.5-inch heels). Then during Hellview, well this guy nearby was literally just throwing his beer all over me so I'm like "fuck it, I'm getting drenched anyway, time to fucking mosh" because although we had a good view the crowd was dead near us. So I jump into the fray and get slammed around some and manage to stay up despite the heels, it's all good. So I decide to push forward. Afterwards I kindof mentally blocked how tough it actually was fighting through, there was this one couple who tried really hard to keep me back but I had this fire in me and, well...

...I ended up second row. The whole show. Right in front of Deron.

You know I said this venue is teeny? I'm six fucking feet away from him. When he screams I can see his tonsils.

Jesus Christ.

I was shouting for songs the whole show, I think the girl in front of me hated me by the end for slamming into her as well (not really my fault...) and headbanging, hahahahaha. It was worth it! I called for Tripled Manic State, they played it. Repeat for Boardwalk Body (which was fhsjadhgjklashdglkahl AMAZING) and Shock And Terror. Unfortunately Deron ripped the fuck out of his voice really early on so I could barely hear him the whole show =( But the setlist was a fucking dream. I haven't heard Promiscuous Daughter in yearrrrrrrrs, I couldn't even remember most of the words! And the new ones! OMFG we got Roller Rager and it was fucking immense!!

I just...words can't describe.

Hahaha Chad like "Well this is a huge stage" (note: heavy sarcasm) and Deron's like *turns on echo* "Yeah, huge-ge-ge-ge..." lol Deron. And Deron and Chad making feedback noises into the mics, heeeeee. I could actually hear them talking between songs like "should we save Roller Rager for later?" shdfjahfksadhgks.

Oh and the crowd were actually cool! Like only one guy yelling for Shippensburg and Chad was just "You only want that song because it's rare...we've played it every time we've been in London, how rare is that?" hahaha BURRRRRN. A lot of people shouting for Boardwalk and A#1 though which makes me happy. Maybe they'll realise it's just the douchbags who think it's still 2002 that call out for Shippensburg and Fat Fuck and even Santa's Coming sometimes. Okay so the crowd still went craziest for 96 and all the IDR songs. But shit, it's not 2002 anymore. Me and the real fans want some fucking AACBF and Carver City shit. Good crowd reaction to the new stuff from what I could tell =)

And I made at least a little bit of serious eye contact with Deron. I know he saw me singing every damn word and rocking my ass off. So glad I wore heels for that extra 2.5 inches! For some reason at one point I noticed Deron was wearing a brown leather belt and I thought "Hmm, wonder if his shoes match" and I looked and they did, ahahaha. Since when does Deron wear brown leather shoes? I thought it was weird.

He's so quiet during shows, really. The occasional gesture to get the crowd going, but not much. He just...looks like an angel up there.

I got to see a flash of his tummy when he stretched at the end *dies*.

Deron and Matt during Close Yet Far standing together and Deron doing this big dopey grin at Matt until he grinned back, d'awwwww <3

At the end the girl right in front of me got Deron's towel. Lucky bitch.

He reached into the crowd and I got swamped (as usual) but he saw me and made a special effort to touch my hand <3 So did Jess, actually.

Then hey, we knew where the stage door was so as soon as they were walking off I seriously dived through the crowd and to the side and managed to shout "Thank you so much" at Deron followed by "Deron you're a legend" (and another sneaky arm touch) which got me a "Thank you" (I then turned around, saw my brother watching and just screamed, hahaha). hdkasgfhksadghkasd what is it with me and the cliches? So far I have: "You're the best band ever", "you're an inspiration" and now "you're a legend". Jesus Christ.

So I found my bro and mum. We all ended up separated but all enjoyed where we ended up, me at the front, my brother at the back and my mum at the side of the stage =D Time for another drink (Jack & coke is for some reason my CKY show drink now).

We went downstairs with our drinks and wtf, my mum's again like "Deron's behind you" dghasfskadgkasdg. So I turned and grabbed him for a picture, we snuggled up and my mum took aaaaaaaaaaages with her cameraphone so I'm standing there next to Deron Miller with this big cheesy grin turning to a look of "wtf?" and Deron has his hand up near my face like pointing at me and it seriously took like 20 seconds to take the picture and he starts poking me like ahaha Deron Miller is prodding me cheek!! The picture is awful because it took so long I ended up pulling this total spastic face LIKE I ALWAYS DO DAMMIT but I guess I should laugh about it. I'll upload it as soon as I can anyway, it is funny.

Then I still have my arm around Deron so I say "Can I have a hug as well" and he doesn't exactly say yes but he definitely doesn't say no so I hook my arm around his and squeeeeeze. He's distracted by these people the other side of him so I just moved my arm back to his waist, he has his arm around my shoulders still and I just...stayed there. For as long as I felt like I could get away with. Which was about another 20 seconds! And then I thought 'okay I'm being weird now I'll stop' and went to pull away and Deron was still distracted so it was like me pulling away but his arm was still around me like seriously he wouldn't have minded if I'd have stayed. He'd have just kept me there.

And I didn't really get into this at the time but as happy as I was, afterwards it also made me really sad, just because...it felt so perfect. Deron in his big comfy CKY hoody, us with our arms around each other, like I just fit there so perfectly. It felt so right. And it was amazing but it's so sad as well because it hurts. I'm really not explaining it well at all. It was bittersweet. I hope someone gets what I mean.

So then my mum wants a picture with him so I tap him again and he thought she wanted a hug so she got one too! Then we took the picture, it's super-cute. Then I said to him "This was the best I've ever seen you and this is my...7th time I think" and he said "Wow" like he was actually impressed, then "My voice was kinda shot though" (aww he's so self-deprecating <3) so I said "I think they needed to turn your mic up, it was really low in the mix" or something and then that was it, he was gone and I wanted to follow him out but we had drinks and you can't take drinks onto the street in Camden (even in crappy plastic glasses).

And, that's all. Apart from meeting this adorable chick flyering afterwards who actually squeed over my Deron tattoo! That was cool =)

Details I forgot:
-watching Matt go to the bar for a beer and a shot, haha.
-my mum got a sweaty hug from Chad, apparently...then told him he was about to go out the wrong door, ahaha.
-watching Matt and Jess walking around so many times I just lost count
-grabbing Matt just before I met Deron and shaking his hand, telling him "that was so good"

Oh, I think she's crazy but my mum swears Matt's cheating on his wife, because we saw him talking to this one girl in a super-tight mini skirt and my mum's all "He's wearing a wedding ring! *shock*" and she says he kept sneaking away from fans to go find this chick, which is so not evidence of anything but she's convinced *shrug*.

I took a picture and 3 videos on my phone but my phone sucks so the quality is =/ You can't even tell how damn close I was. fhdasakghsdfkdla. Amazing.

Then we came home and got chinese and smoked some weed and watched the second half of 'Planes, Trains and Automobiles' =D

Then I woke up at 6am and all the memories flooded back and I had to come do this entry.

Jesus Christ.

Best CKY show ever <3

Writer's Block: Change is good

2009-11-04T10:35:00Z

If you could change one major thing about your life, whether a relationship, your job, your living situation, your school, etc., what would it be? Are you currently working toward a serious life transition?

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I am yes, in the sense that I'm currently single, unemployed and in London, whereas 3 months ago none of these things were the case.

The single part I'm cool with, the London part I'm fairly cool with.

I guess I need a job though, and I'm hoping it'll be one I actually like.

I'm living at home with my parents and brother, but we've just sold the house (I grew up here, we've had it for 25 years) and should be moving in January.

Don't know where we'll all be moving to though, I could live with my mum, dad or brother. I need a job first to have money for rent.

So, this is all a serious life transition, yes.

Writer's Block: If stains could talk

2009-09-11T12:04:54Z

If an annoying acquaintance got spinach between his or her teeth or an embarrassing salsa stain, would you tell them or let them suffer in shame?

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Weird but good question! My ex had the most awful habit of actually leaning over and picking stuff out of my teeth, in front of other people...How rude is that?? I get stuff caught in my teeth a lot because I have a gap there (I didn't wear my retainer for long enough after I had braces) and I get quite paranoid about it. But personally I am a fan of the indirect approach...if someone has something on their face or in their teeth it bugs me so I tend to wipe my face in the place the stain is on them or pick my teeth...I think if it was someone I actually liked as a person I'd discreetly tell them, but if I didn't like them I wouldn't =P

Writer's Block: Finders keepers?

2009-09-09T16:25:44Z

If you found a $100 at the library, would you pocket it or turn it in? What about at a diner or pub? Confess!

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I'd keep it. Let's be realistic here. If I find a wallet with bank cards and ID, I'd turn it in. But loose cash? Who's gonna claim it? What's to stop someone else from stealing it? Who loses a $100 bill in the first place? If I lost some cash I wouldn't go around asking if anyone handed it in...how would I prove it was even mine? So hell yeah I'd keep it.

ICON MEME

2009-08-02T17:18:38Z

Never done one of these...

MAH ICONS.

default	oldest	newest


saddest	happiest	angriest


cutest	sexiest	funniest


fave ship	fave fandom	fave animated


best quote	best textless	best stolen idea


use the most	favorite

HOW MANY ICONS DO YOU HAVE: 15
OUT OF HOW MANY AVAILABLE ICONS SPACES: 15 I think.
IF YOU COULD BUY SPACE FOR MORE, WOULD YOU: Nah, mine are all out of date anyway and I don't have my ~~illegal~~ copy of Photoshop to make more =(
DO YOUR ICONS MAKE A STATEMENT: Umm, that I love Deron and enjoy Metalocalypse?
WHAT FANDOM DO YOU HAVE THE MOST ICONS OF: 6 Metalocalypse.
AND THE SECOND MOST: 5 Deron (techically 6 but one has Matt as well and I can't be bothered to put him joint first).
WHAT SHIP DO YOU HAVE THE MOST ICONS OF: I don't have any ship icons at the moment. Well, not unless you count the South Park one, hahaha.
ARE YOUR ICONS MADE MOSTLY BY OTHER PEOPLE: No, only 1 of the 15 is.
DO YOU MAKE ICONS: Used to.
ARE THEY ANY GOOD: Some were.
ANIMATED ICONS ARE: Cool but I like to make my own icons and I'm not good enough for animation.

DO THE MEME.
Coding can be found here

Writer's Block: Birthday Shout-out

2009-07-31T22:23:35Z

Happy birthday, J.K. Rowling! Which of her seven Harry Potter novels do you think is the most satisfying read?

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My friends when I was fifteen were super into the series, so they made me read the first 4 books. I was wholly underwhelmed. Then one time I got bored and started reading the fifth book, but got bored pretty quickly since it seemed to be all Harry shouting "LEAVE ME ALONE!" (IN BLOCK CAPS) to show that he was a teenager and thus a moody bastard...uuugh. From what I read, Rowling is a fairly average writer, and I can understand why kids like the series but any adults that read them...seriously, they're pretty crappy. And obviously she was never going to kill any of the main child characters in the end. The whole 'Dumbledore was gay' thing as well, are you kidding me?? I hate how every book is a series now as well, don't even get me started on Twilight. The Harry Potter idea isn't the most original in the world, and through the first 4 books Harry is a pretty boring character. Maybe her writing got better, I never stuck around to find out.

But then, fantasy is my least favourite genre of fiction ;-)

quickie

2009-06-25T16:18:18Z

Back online for the time being.

CKY two weeks tomorrow sghgdhgasdhgdshjkgdh. It's all I can think about. Christ I feel fifteen again. 'Imaginary Threats' pretty much on solid repeat (finally got the damn album on my iPod, w00t).

Spent a night re-reading old fan fic stashed on this computer. I can't believe I wrote some of that stuff. It's kind of unreal how good it is. That sounds really vain, but. That's how I felt reading it. Like, did I really write this?? Even the stupid vampire stories I used to write when I was fourteen, the writing style for a fourteen-year-old is damn good. Point being: I wish I had finished more of what I started. Mainly 'Thanks For The Ride'. That damn fic. I had quite a little following going for that one way back when. And justifiably, I think. It's good. I wish I'd finished it. Maybe some day...

That's really all there is to say for now. ♥

Writer's Block

2009-04-09T17:29:40Z

If you were in perfect shape (not to say that you aren't), what would be your extreme sport of choice?

View 501 Answers

I always wished I could skateboard. I have bad balance, though. Not to mention coordination...=(

What scientific or medical breakthrough do you most want to happen in your lifetime?

View 500 Answers

My boyfriend wants flying cars. I wouldn't mind some virtual reality/holodeck technology. That'd be sweet. Although the line between fantay and reality is already pretty blurry for me, so I could end up in an institution if we had holodecks. But gosh, that'd be cool, a place where you could be anywhere, be anyone, have anything...

As the old saying goes, March comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb. Weather aside, how did March come and go in your life this year?

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It was pretty good actually. Weather was nice for a change, work wasn't too horrible, Paddy's Day was fun, got mahself a shiny haircut...not a bad month at all!

What's the best vacation you've ever taken?

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Either of the two that I took without my parents, haha. Nothing wild or crazy, but they were fun innocent times with friends =)

Do you change clothes when you come home from work or class? What do you put on?

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Yep, I change out of my skanky work shirt that I never wash, and into some jammie bottoms (either my stretch velvet pants, or my boyfriend's sweat pants) and depending on how cold it is one of my boyfriend's huge t-shirts or my long-sleeved shirt with pink & black stripy arms ^_^ Oh, I take off my bra as well. Haha.

sickly_sweet @ 2009-03-26T01:57:00

2009-03-26T02:03:23Z

dhsakjgfhkghakljhgkljhf just because I haven't flailed and keysmashed about this at all yet.

NEW CKY ALBUM 'CARVER CITY' ON MAY 18TH SHAKFGSDHKAJGHJKASHGKJAHK!!!!

Oh man. I am seriously psyched. Tonight I just totally rocked the live version of 'Hellions' and 'Woe Is Me' as well, and it made me search YouTube for random oldskool Deron shit and then dig out my Mr. Smalls and IDR DVDs...man I bought that Smalls bootleg and seriously never even watched it all the way through, that's how over CKY I was.

My love is totally rekindled, and I can't wait for this album (15 TRACKS DGHAGFHKJSAHGJKA).

I have missed these boys, I really have. Every time I think I'm not in love with Deron anymore...fucker steals my heart all over again.

♥♥♥

Writer's Block: Adult Onset

2009-02-21T01:03:58Z

Putting legal definitions aside, at what age do you think someone can really be considered an adult?

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I think it's impossible to set an age where everyone can be considered an adult. Some people are wise beyond their years, while others will act like immature dickheads forever. I think that the legal minimum ages set for sex (16 in the UK) and drinking alcohol (18 currently, although rumour has it it may go up to 21) are good ones. I also however believe that it's alright to transgress those, as some people are ready before that. And honestly, I believe that experimenting while you are young is a good thing. Take me for example, I started drinking a couple months before I turned fifteen, but for me it was always in a safe environment (as far as I'm concerned, house parties with my friends were a safe environment, anyway). It meant that I did all of the stupid puking and bad drunken sexual decisions (nothing major though) while I was young and dumb, and even if I had messed up badly, hey ho, off to uni at 18 to start again. It also meant that by the time I did get to uni, when drinking was legal for me and I, as many freshers were, was living away from my parents for the first time, I'd been drinking casually for long enough that I didn't go crazy at uni (although a lot of people do). That said, I do think the effects of alcohol can be scary and dangerous (I've never been a huge drinker) and for that reason, lowering the legal age wouldn't be a good idea. As for sex, I also believe there's nothing wrong with experimenting under the age of 16 (personally I didn't lose my virginity till just before I turned 17...it was the right time for me and I never felt any regrets...the things I did sexually when I was fifteen and sixteen though, oh boy I do regret those) as some teenagers are mature enough to handle it and do it sensibly and safely. But again, lowering the age would put even more peer pressure on young teens to have sex, than already exists.

I think it's personality and experiences that ultimately define you as an adult, not age. I am 21, 'legally' an adult, but I don't feel like one yet. But each year, as I grow and try to make it on my own in the world, fall in love and meet new people and face new challenges, I get a little closer.

I don't think I'll ever fully feel like an adult.

I think that anybody who can confidently and competently support themselves financially, is an adult. I could be wrong, though.

I think that anyone who can commit to a romantic relationship without trying to run away or sabotage it, is more of an adult than I am.

I think there's a huge rush to grow up now, when really I hugely enjoyed being able to act like a child, pretty much until I graduated from university.

Sex and alcohol I don't think should be experienced exclusively by those we consider, for whatever reason, 'adults'. I think there is a huge in-between stage between child and adult, and that's where all of the learning happens. That's when we should be experimenting, so that by the time we are older and legally considered adults, through our experiences we have an 'adult' understanding of these things, and of the world.

The end?

Writer's Block: Spoilers Below the Cut

2009-01-30T20:33:55Z

Have you ever ruined the ending or given away plot developments in a book, movie, or tv show by telling someone who hasn't seen or read it what happens? Has anyone ever done this to you?

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Yep. When I was about 15 and Buffy The Vampire Slayer was in about season 6 I think, I was watching it on Sky 1 so was about a season ahead of the BBC broadcasts that my best friend was watching. I told her Buffy sleeps with Spike, lol. She got mad. As a peace offering I got another friend to tell me the twist of The Sixth Sense, but I didn't really care that much. Haha.

I don't do New Year's resolutions

2009-01-07T02:00:43Z

I know what I have to do this year to make my life, and myself, better. So there's no point making a list: I'll either make the changes, or I won't.

Instead:

THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE I DIE IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER
1. Write and publish a novel. Don't care if it doesn't sell, I just want to do it. Good reviews would be nice though. If I write a shit novel I'll be depressed. Ideally I wan to write something innovative and pretensious and depressing as hell =D
2. Write and record an album. Write and perform all instruments and vocals myself. Produce it myself. I actually don't care about selling this one or anyone else liking it. As long as I love it and feel it's the best job I could possibly have done.
2a. Be able to play guitar, bass, drums and piano decently enough so I can write/play whatever the hell I want to.
2b. Take a music production course.
2c. Play in a band.
3. Learn to speak German.
3a. Visit Germany.
4. Do a parachute jump.
5. Get married.
5a. Fall in love (and not doubt it, I still don't know 100% for sure if I've ever been in love).
6. Spend a lot of time in America.
7. Find a career that I really love.

When I think of more, I will add to this list.

Writer's Block: Prophecy or Fallacy?

2008-12-14T16:31:31Z

Happy birthday, Nostradamus. Many people consider the prophecies of Nostradamus to be uncannily accurate, while others remain skeptical. Do you think it's possible to predict the future?

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I don't believe it's possible to say "In 1500 years time this will happen" and actually be dead-on accurate, no. Like others have said, Nosradamus's predictions were pretty vague and could be put down to common sense or anaylsis of history. I think he was supposed to have predicted the nuclear age/nuclear weapons, wasn't he? But you could say that he was shrewd enough to realise that human beings would inevitably continue to evolve and as such create techological advances, including more destructive weaponry. Unless he actually specified dates, names etc., I can't say I believe that Nostradamus knew the future. If you really could see future events, why would you write them in the poeticly coded way that he did?

That said, I do believe in the tarot, but again it's largely based on the principle of 'if you continue along this path, this is the most likely outcome'. Since I don't see tarot as fortune telling this is really a whole other kettle of fish to deal with, which more concerns how much a tarot reader/the cards themselves can know about your present situation without you telling them.

Writer's Block: Untimely Passing

2008-12-08T20:10:30Z

RIP John Lennon. The list of sudden and unexpected celebrity deaths is long—Princess Di, Heath Ledger, Kurt Cobain, Marilyn Monroe, and many more. Which one affected you the most on an emotional level?

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None of them. I'm going to instead use this question to say that I hate the whole Princess Di hysteria that occured in this country (and is still being pursued by the Daily Express, lol). Actually, any celebrity that dies, people tend to make too big a deal out of it for my tastes. But Princess Di had to be the worst. I personally just...didn't care. Or, at least, no more than the slight pang of sadness I get when I hear that anyone has passed away, particularly before their time or in violent circumstances, like Di. But I detest the fact that she's basically been deified due to her sudden death. From the little that I know of her, I can't say that I cared for her as a person at all - I think Prince Harry is clearly of dubious parentage (*cough*jameshewitt*cough*), and the whole "look how much she did for charity" thing? Ugh. She had money and power, she used them. Of course any work anybody does for charity is good, but I don't think she was amazing for using a fraction of the money that she had to get in some photo opportunities helping needy children or whatever, when there are so many people who literally dedicate their whole lives to causes like that.

Writer's Block: Smoked Out

2008-11-20T19:58:32Z

Beer and cigarettes once went together like bread and butter, but now smoking in bars is banned in many cities. When you see smokers standing outside bars in the cold and rain, what is your first reaction? Walk on by, join them, or scorn them?

View 500 Answers

You don't want to know how much I want to punch some of the self-righteous assholes that have answered this already.

Is it worth my while to rant about this? Oh, why not. Even if no one reads it.

The reason I see the ban as something akin to Fascism (extreme I know, but you get my drift) is not coming from the standpoint of "As a smoker I should be allowed to smoke wherever I want". It's more that, with a total ban, I can't smoke anywhere. All my smoker friends who rent their accomodation can't smoke indoors since it would put them at risk of losing their deposits, because now I'd say it's incredibly rare for a private landlord to allow smoking on the premises, especially with short-term tennancies. So basically our only choice is: smoke outside. I don't think allowing smoking in all pubs is the answer, as that is just as unfair to non-smokers. The reasons I hate the ban are firstly, because I believe that pub landlords should have had the right to choose whether to allow smoking in their pubs or not. I don't think it's right to force a smoke-free policy since it would be fairer for the public to have the choice between smoking and non-smoking pubs. As a smoker, if I were to go out with my non-smoking friends, I'd be absolutely fine with going to a non-smoking pub and smoking my cigs outside, if that was what my friends preferred on that occasion. But when I'm out with a group of smokers I'd like to be able to choose to remain indoors and smoke, but we no longer have that choice. The second reason I hate the ban is because I think it's a blatant display of hypocrisy from the governments, who want to appease the non-smokers and also appear to be fighting to keep their country healthy, but at the same time knowing that they will never ban the sale of cigarettes completely, because they want the tax from tobacco sales. If cigarettes were banned altogether at least it would be consistent, but as it is I'm perfectly able to buy cigarettes with which to poison my lungs if I so choose (which I do), but I'm unable to smoke them anywhere. I don't think it will be long before there are campaigns to rid the streets of us smokers, too.

I've noticed some people have said "Just because it's legal doesn't make it alright, you filthy, filthy addicts". Umm, sorry but for me, that does make a HUGE difference. By allowing the sale and purchase of cigarettes, my government are giving me a CHOICE of whether to smoke or not. Don't get pissy with ME for exercising my democratic rights (haha) just because I didn't choose the way you wanted me to. Direct your anger at the government that are continuing to offer the choice to smoke, even though they have known for years about the ill health effects. As long as smoking is legal you have absolutely no fucking right to criticise me for what I choose to do, you have no fucking right to banish me from every pub in this country, any more than I would have the right to demand smoking in every pub. I do not expect to be able to smoke everywhere. Just fucking somewhere would be nice, because cigarettes ARE legal and nobody has the right to take away somebody's choice to visit a pub where you can smoke or, equally, one where you can't. It's the fact that I'm given the choice to smoke but not given the choice of anywhere to do it that stinks to me. It's inconsistent and hypocritical beyond belief.

And I don't see how any half-decent non-smoker could have a problem with retaining a certain percentage of pubs as smoking pubs. That way if your friends drag you to a smoking pub, your issue is with your friends, not random strangers who don't conform to your lifestyle choice.

Writer's Block: The Beatles

2008-10-10T01:45:44Z

In their heyday, The Beatles were the center of the pop universe. Many groups have been hailed as the next Beatles, but does pop music even have a center anymore? Who represents the core of pop music to you?

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Here's my unpopular (lol) opinion, kids: I think that if any band has that kind of massive universal appeal (in this day and age), then there isn't jack shit worth listening to in it. I think that for anything to appeal to that many vastly different individuals, it must be pretty generalised and uncomplex. I think there are so many songs and bands that people can, like, totally relate to. Well guess what, so can several million other people. You're not special. That song isn't special. The writer doesn't 'get' you. You're just boring, like 90% of the world's population.

I just think that people are generally morons and anything that appeals to that many of them is generally not very intelligent. Intelligence alienates the public. Just ask the directors of programming at ITV, or the editors of the tabloids. Complexity, anything challenging, sure maybe back when music was still exciting and innovative, people were cool enough to understand the new trends as they happened. But labels now have even less respect for people than I do, and they sign bands that sound the same as already popular bands. They go for catchy.

So I think pop music today sucks. If I could choke to death every member of The Feeling and Scouting For Girls, I'd do it cheerfully.

Listen to metal, kids. Good metal, not that Marilyn Manson crap because all of the above applies to that shit. Or hell, listen to some Goddamn blues. When people had something to sing about.

Flame me if you want, I guarantee I'll have no good arguments, justifications or comebacks. This is just what I choose to believe to make myself and my own taste in music feel special. Yay me.

Writer's Block: Poetry

2008-10-07T09:30:32Z

Today in 1955 Allen Ginsberg read his generation-defining poem "Howl" in public for the first time. It’s hard to imagine a poem having the same widespread impact today. Is poetry irrelevant to the best minds of our generation?

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These writer's block questions are getting too pretentious. Surely there is a middle-ground between these and "Wut's your favourite kind of caek"?

sickly_sweet @ 2008-09-25T20:57:00

2008-09-25T19:59:03Z

Something I wrote recently, because I only deal in short bursts of angst and longing and unfulfilment, apparently.

I guess this is something of my take on the whole 6-month-fight thing, and a possibility for the band dynamic now, following that whole train wreck.

Being me, of course it's Deron-centric. Weighs in at a relatively teeny 430 words.

x-posted to my journal and cky_band_fic

( Clavicle )

Any and all feedback always appreciated.

Writer's Block: Sharing Haikus

2008-09-05T13:49:40Z

The Japanese haiku poet Basho once wrote, "Old pond / a frog jumps / the sound of water." Try writing some of your own haikus about the little things in your life. A haiku generally consists of a five-syllable line, a seven-syllable line and a second five-syllable line. You can also use any combination of ten-to-fourteen syllables.

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The first time I saw
you was the only time I
actually saw you.

*

Every time you leave
you take my senses with you,
pulse in your pocket.

*

I wrote both of those recently. Don't claim them to be any good but hey. The things I was feeling just didn't want to be expressed in any more length than that.

sickly_sweet @ 2008-08-26T02:43:00

2008-08-26T01:44:33Z

Connie's profound thought for the day #2:
All of the people who talk about or decide what society wants and needs, are totally out of touch with society.

Writer's Block: Your Threads

2008-08-24T21:59:11Z

What does your favorite "you" outfit consist of?

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My tight black jeans, blue stripy top with short-sleeved black shirt over it. My awesome shoes. And my piercings are an integral part of how I look, that's a given.

My dress sense is actually mellowing, or I'd have said my bondage trousers by Criminal Damage. I do still love them, though. I don't wear my bandanna anymore either, but that used to be essential.

My tight black jeans though, I don't know how I lived in baggy trousers for so long. They're teh sex. And I adore my short-sleeved black shirt (which is really more grey now since I've had it for 4 years or so, but I can't find another as good!). I like to wear a lot of black, with occasional colour. Hot pink is my fave. I like band t-shirts.

Connie's profound thought for the day #1:
Every new person that I love, I discover another piece of who I am.

Writer's Block: Your Invention...

2008-08-13T12:10:53Z

If you could invent one thing and make it a reality, what would it be? Why?

Submitted By citrus_scented

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I always wished there was a machine that could record your dreams. Like, you'd stick some little pads to your head then go to sleep, and the pads would output your brainwaves to a machine that could convert them into a sensory recording of what you were dreaming.

I want one because I love the idea of dreams, how symbolic and crazy they can be, and I love analysing mine (not in a stupid 'a tooth falling out means someone will die' way, I think that's dumb. More in a psychological, 'I dreamed I was on a train and really excited, I guess I probably want to travel' kind of way. Does that make sense?) Anyway, yeah. I like analysing my dreams for subconscious stuff, but so often when the alarm goes off or I roll over or something, I will forget all of the details. Also, I've had some awesome dreams that I would like to be able to re-live!

And you know sometimes when you dream something fantastic, then forget it and it bugs you so much? Like one time I swear someone told me the meaning of life in a dream and it made total sense, but when I woke up it was either gibberish or I just couldn't remember what they said. That's so frustrating!

So yeah. Dream recorder ftw.

OH, ALSO I really want a food replicator like they have on Star Trek, just because that'd be freakin' sweet. Eating whatever you want whenever you want without having to buy or make it...mmm...

Writer's Block: A Posthumous Oscar for Joker?

2008-08-12T19:22:19Z

Do you think Heath Ledger deserves the Oscar for his role in the Dark Knight?

Submitted By quinnpuddin

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I wasn't that into the film (too long, and I'm not an 'action' fan really) but he was definitely the best thing in it. His acting made it infinitely more interesting and watchable for me. And I'm not particularly a fan of his so the fact that he's dead didn't affect my judgement. So yeah, I think he deserves the Oscar.